Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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