we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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