Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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