i think my tv is drunk
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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