did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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