Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
