She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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