It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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