There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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