Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
