My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We don't watch enough power rangers
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
