My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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