i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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