And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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