so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
