I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
