so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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