Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
