Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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