I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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