:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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