I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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