I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
