Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
