pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
