No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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