Cold hands, warm shart.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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