you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
