Having a random hookup so left but love u
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The beer is more important than you right now.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
