How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
