Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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