we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
