i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
