You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
