The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
