TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
