She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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