I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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