At least make sure they are 18
Why
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
