Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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