I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
