He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
