he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
