Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
