just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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