haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
