she looked like the before picture.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
