when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
