I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
