What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
