i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
