he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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