Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
