why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
