No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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