Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
