this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
