Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
