YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
