also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
