Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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